Growing Into Adulthood: The Price of Risk

The Price of Risk

Back then, there were many questions about what we would do if we found ourselves standing at a crossroads, forced to choose one path and risk everything in our lives.

A life full of uncertainty.

All this time, I had never been at a crossroads in life. I was always the one who knew my own path. I always had a vision for what I was going to do, or what I wanted to do in this life. I’m the type of perfect planner, follows a straight line. I couldn’t believe it when I finally found myself standing at a crossroads with a clouded mind — someone who was forced to decide something that could become the most important turning point of my entire 28 years of life.

Coming from a limited financial background has unfortunately restricted my choices, especially when it comes to deciding what I want to be and do, without always considering the long-term effects or risk profile. For some people, failure is a normal part of life — something that naturally happens to those who try. But for poor people like me, I don’t have the option to fail. I remember how I struggled so much when things didn’t go well. There was a moment when my science paper wasn’t chosen as a winner in a competition. The loss of financial support meant I couldn’t bounce back or try again with a positive mindset. I became so afraid of all the other possibilities — what if I lost more money? What if I faced an emergency? It was a constant fear I couldn’t control (especially because I was still a student at the time). After that incident, I decided to stop joining competitions and stop trying altogether.

In adult life, I finally learned more about how to survive. My fears about myself and about this uncertain life were actually unreasonable and illogical. In reality, we should ask ourselves: how many risks of failure must I truly face in my life? Or how many opportunities will I miss if I’m not brave enough to make a decision and try to step out of it?

Staying in the comfort zone is actually a good thing. But in my principles, life is a never-ending cycle. Everyone needs to grow mentally, emotionally, and in their mindset. I believe that stagnation in life is, in a way, fighting against our own fate. As I said before, everyone must grow and make some kind of improvement in life.

Besides, there are so many people who choose to stay stagnant without any desire to leave their flat line. But if that happened to me, I’m afraid there would be far more regrets that I would have to carry in the future compared to the risks I have to survive right now.

One of the most important books about finding purpose in life — and the one that has left the deepest impression on me, especially about the courage to start something new — is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Its main character, a shepherd, is a young man who lives a simple and comfortable life in his hometown. But when he repeatedly dreams about a treasure hidden in a desert, he decides to leave everything behind — his job, his family, even his own country — to chase something uncertain. Along the way, he faces theft, despair, poverty, and constant uncertainty. But as the book’s famous quote says: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

That shepherd shows that the courage to follow one’s Personal Legend — one’s deepest life purpose — only comes when a person is brave enough to risk their comfort for something more meaningful. Quoting this also reminds me of the importance of truly trusting in God’s destiny.

In essence, failure is something unavoidable. No matter how much effort we put into achieving something, life holds a mysterious ratio that cannot be predicted. Everything ends up being 50/50. The chance of failure is just as big as the chance of success I hope for. All of this lies beyond my control. What I can do as a human is simply to try, to give my best effort without regrets. Leave some room for optimism so as not to despair, but also leave a bit of pessimism to acknowledge the possibility of failure. This is an important point to balance, so that we can enjoy the process and learn to accept the results with an open heart.

One message for my future self:

I don’t know what will happen next year. Maybe it will be something that makes my smile fade away, or maybe a chapter where I will have to learn a lot. But whatever it is, I hope my future self won’t be too sad about the results or fall too deeply into a hopeless phase.

I wish that the spirit I have while writing this sentence will stay alive in the coming days and weeks. So my future self won’t regret anything, because I will know that I already did my best. And if I feel sad about everything I had to sacrifice to stand at this point, I hope my future self will remember that it will all pay off.

As a closing, allow me to borrow a phenomenal quote from Paulo Coelho:

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”

— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist



Kan, 27 Jun 2025